


The Errors of His Ways

by Writernon



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Groping, M/M, Mistakes, Pre-Slash, Romance, Schmoop, Sexual Tension, accidental confessions, appearance of consent issues, the spelling errors in the first bit are there on purpose it's fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:26:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writernon/pseuds/Writernon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://cabinpres-fic.dreamwidth.org/6034.html?thread=10033554#cmt10033554">Original Prompt</a>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Martin posts something online that he thinks someone will recognize as him because of the typos, but eventually decides he's being ridiculous. At least until the next morning when Douglas makes it obvious he knows all about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Errors of His Ways

**Author's Note:**

> I first posted this [here](http://cabinpres-fic.dreamwidth.org/6034.html?thread=10033810#cmt10033810) on the CabinPres_Fic Meme Oct. 21, 2012. 
> 
> The 'mirror image' of [Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1083593). Not initially intended as such when I filled the prompt, but since I'm reposting I thought they made a nice set.

> Dear Rantzone  
>  I've got this co-worker, he's a right bastard, always giving me a hard time, always with the perfect answer for everything, god he's abonimable. He's lucky he's so fucking gorgeous; I'd love to shut him up by pining him to the wall and snogging him breathless. Maybe suck him off in the coffice before work if he promises to keep quiet all fday. I'd miss his voice though; it's like warm treacle on fresh bread. I just wish he'd say something nice instead of sarky for a change. I'm not as hopeless as he thinks I am, I wish he'd give me a chance to show it.

When Martin hit post, it was too late. He noticed his typical error on 'abominable' and the nigh-Freudian typo of 'pinning', his excessive and dodgy use of semi-colons and the places where he hadn't quite erased all of 'cockpit' and 'flight' when replacing them with 'office' and 'day'. His heart shot into his throat. "Oh god."

Why had he even posted it? It sounded horrible now, like he was some dangerous lunatic who wanted to assault a co-worker, which wasn't the case at all. The pattern of errors was so distinctive, anyone he'd written an e-mail to would know it was him.

"Someone's going to know that's me and that I'm talking about Douglas! I could be arrested! Worse, I could lose my job! Why do I do these things to myself!"

The floor thumped as one of the students revising for finals objected to Martin's distressed squeaking. Martin stood and paced the two strides back and forth across his attic flat over and over, breathing rapidly.

_No one's going to know. No one's going to see. Don't be silly. Hundreds of people vent on that site every day and all of them make typos._

Eventually he calmed down enough to get into his pajamas and lie down in his bed, though he didn't manage to get much sleep.

*

The next morning the world looked better. The post had three comments, two commiserating and one that just said "bunktiem nao ^.^" which Martin wasn't sure what to make of. 

_Tempest in a teapot._ Martin laughed as he brushed his teeth, telling himself he'd been stupid to worry.

He roused the van, drove to the airfield early as usual and walked into the portacabin, mind fully on the flight ahead. 

The only reason he didn't jump when the portacabin door slammed behind him were the arms circling his throat and waist, pulling him back against a warm, familiar-smelling bulk.

"'So,' he said with his voice like warm treacle over fresh bread-"

At the voice behind him, Martin gasped and swallowed past the pressure on his throat. "Oh god. Douglas, I didn't mean-"

"Hush now, my secretly not-hopeless Captain." Douglas's breath was moist in Martin's ear and his hand drifted across Martin's belt-line. "You're interrupting."

"I, uhhnnng," was all Martin could manage, his eyes sliding closed as Douglas casually hooked a thumb into the front of Martin's trousers.

"'So, Captain,' he said with his voice like warm treacle over fresh bread, 'I've heard a rumour that you think you can do something to shut me up? I'd really-" Douglas pushed his hips forward, grinding his hardening cock into Martin's left buttock, "- _really_ like to see you give it your very best try.'"

Martin's breath stuttered as Douglas's fingers trailed along the front of his trousers. "R-really, Douglas?"

"Yes, really," Douglas growled. "I don't know what gave me away, but your post nailed my second most common wank fantasy quite thoroughly."

"Second?"

"Yes. My first most common wank fantasy is bending you over the desk you're always at doing the logbooks, and nailing you quite thoroughly."

Martin groaned, sinking backward into Douglas's grip, putting his hand on Douglas's forearm. "Oh. Oh please?"

"Not just now, I'd very much like not to get caught with our pants down by Arthur and Carolyn who are due any minute. If we're lucky though, and I usually am, we should have just enough time for mphhf-!" 

Douglas's voice cut off as Martin eeled around in his grip to lock lips with his co-pilot, burying one hand in his luxuriant hair and gripping his arse with the other. It might be a dream or a delusion, but Martin wasn't going to waste it, licking insistently into Douglas's mouth.

Knocking Martin's hat off, Douglas threaded his own fingers in Martin's hair, gently rubbing his scalp and slowing Martin's urgent tongue, encouraging him to take time to explore and be sensual, his hand slowly settling on the back of Martin's neck.

When the kiss broke, they were both breathing hard, matching other hard things about their anatomy they could feel, standing as close as they were. Martin could also feel a typical flame-red flush heating his face and tipped his forehead forward to rest on Douglas's shoulder.

"Really?" Martin's voice was so faint, he thought he might have imagined speaking. "We- we can have this?"

He felt Douglas press his lips into his hair. "Yes, I rather think we can."

Something in Martin relaxed, and he wrapped his arms around Douglas. Douglas held him close, kissing his hair. They stood like that for a moment before they heard the engine of Carolyn's car pull up and turn off.

"Oh god."

"Yes. Here." Douglas scooped up Martin's hat and placed it on his head. "Your hair is frightful."

"It always is. We-" Martin looked up at Douglas as he vainly attempted to straighten Douglas's tie. "We'll continue this discussion later?" 

Douglas paused in tugging Martin's collar into order and leered down at him. "Just try and stop me."

 _Best mistake I ever made,_ thought Martin as Carolyn and Arthur barged in.


End file.
